I wrote this as a sort of reply to the "Girl's Guide to Geek
Guys". It's just meant to be funny; don't take it too serious.
This writing is free artwork. You can redistribute it and/or modify it
according to terms of the Free Art licence (published by
Copyleft Attitude in
the spirit of the GNU GPL for software).
Geek's Guide to Geek Girls
Geek girls are a very rare species. You might hack around for years without
ever meeting one. But just in case you happen to find one, and just in case
she is not already linked to someone else (which is even rarer), this guide is
intended to help you to win her heart.
Basics
If you want any chance at all to catch her attention, you have to be a
computer geek, too. Being a long-term contributor to a major free software
project is a good starting point. Being the author of several man pages or
howtos is not bad, either. If you know very little about computers but are
nevertheless seriously interested in your geek girl, subscribe to a course
she is giving.
Note: Only wearing a t-shirt with a spiffy slogan will not
do.
Getting into Contact
Email her with a bug report or (even better) a patch to one of her projects.
Ask an intelligent question. If you are really lucky, she is the one who
contacts you first with a question, bug report or patch to one of your
projects.
Making an Impression
Don't waste your money on a sports car. Geek girls hardly go for
environmentally unhealthy cars. But if you own a leased line to the internet,
an extra terminal and a private newsfeed, you're better off. It provides an
excellent argument why she should join you in the evenings.
Food
Be sure to stock up your supply of chocolate chips cookies. Geek girls like
them as much as male geeks do. However, geek girls also like chocolate chips
cookies with the cookie part replaced by additional chocolate.
Don't expect your geek girl to cook your meals. She might decide to do so
occasionally, but in general, she will be much too busy. Consequently, a good
selection of pizzerias and Chinese restaurants in reach of your home is
essential, plus at least one first-class ice cream shop.
Note: It is more romantic to eat at the pizzeria together than eat the
home-made lunch the two of you have burned.
Rivals
Don't be jealous at her collection of cuddly plush penguins, daemons, lions,
gnus, etc. Instead, try to be more cuddly than a penguin.
Birthday and other Occasions
Hand-made gifts receive the highest attention. Create an artistic theme for
her favourite X window manager, or surprise her with a self-written
Linux driver for a new piece of hardware. Don't even attempt to
spread a new virus with her name in it; in the best case, your
reward would be a yawn.
Dating
Learn that "a sparc in the dark" can be very romantic, especially
installing the operating system on a brand new one. The same holds for Linux
upgrades on a handheld or watching xlock -mode random for
hours.
Note: Full-night hacks are more fun when to two of you are working together.
BTW, there is also a very funny "Guys' Guide
to Geek Girls" by Lisa Michaud.
Anja Gerwinski, Spring 1999
Last modified November 16, 2002